Search for the guilty. Punishment of the innocent. What is the difference between a computer and a woman? Get away from that damn computer and go find a woman!
Do you have a sledgehammer or a brick handy? That's right, not even McGyver could fix it. Looks like you're gonna need some new dilithium crystals, Cap'n.
Ahhh, I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again.
Press 1 for Support. Press 2 if you're with 60 Minutes. Press 3 if you're with the Federal Trade Commission. We can fix this, but you're gonna need a butter knife, a roll of duct tape, and a car battery.
In layman's terms, we call that the Hindenburg Effect. Hold on a second I'll try to be nicer, if you try to be smarter.
Okay, turn to page in your copy of Dianetics. Please hold for Mr. Daddy, why doesn't this magnet pick up your floppy disk?
Pentiums melt in your PC, not in your hand. Artificial Intelligence usually beats real stupidity. Bob Dole was visiting his first chat room. Bob Dole suddenly realizes he's the only person in Luscious Leg Lounge using his real name.
A Computer Novice says as she is lifting an RP06 disk pack from the drive: The caller believed it. On the phone at a major bookstore, the caller asked if we carried Linux for Dummies.
Seuss ran the computer help desk, here's what he'd say: If a packet hits a pocket on a socket on a port And the bus is interrupted as a very last resort And the address of the memory makes your floppy disk abort Then the socket packet pocket has an error to report!
If your cursor finds a menu item followed by a dash And the double-clicking icon puts your window in the trash And your data is corrupted 'cause the index doesn't hash Then your situation's hopeless, and your system's gonna crash! If the label on the cable on the table at your house Says the network is connected to the button on your mouse But your packets want to tunnel on another protocol That's repeatedly rejected by the printer down the hall.
And your screen is all distorted by the side effects of gauss So your icons in the window are as wavy as a souse, Then you may as well reboot and go out with a bang, Cause as sure as I'm a poet, the sucker's gonna hang! When the copy of your floppy's getting sloppy on the disk, And the microcode instructions cause unnecessary risc, Then you have to flash your memory and you'll want to RAM your ROM.
Quickly turn off the computer and be sure to tell your mom! Or we'll give it to you.BibMe Free Bibliography & Citation Maker - MLA, APA, Chicago, Harvard. Zen and the Art of the Internet: A Beginner's Guide (Prentice Hall Series in Innovative Technology) [Brendan P.
Kehoe] on kaja-net.com *FREE* shipping on qualifying offers. This well-known, accessible guide is updated to reflect recent developments. Covers topics including the World Wide Web. A computer virus is a type of malicious software that, when executed, replicates itself by modifying other computer programs and inserting its own code.
When this replication succeeds, the affected areas are then said to be "infected" with a computer virus. Virus writers use social engineering deceptions and exploit detailed knowledge of security vulnerabilities to initially infect systems and.
Pearson Prentice Hall and our other respected imprints provide educational materials, technologies, assessments and related services across the secondary curriculum. Misc funny quotes gathered on the Net about computers such as: 'Prolonged contact with the computer turns mathematicians into clerks and vice versa'.
Copyright © Pearson Education, Inc. Publishing as Prentice Hall. Title: PowerPoint Presentation Author: Technology In Action Created Date: 7/21/ PM.